I've come to believe that accident proneness is genetic...and contagious.
I'm that guy who was playing an air guitar (actually, a broom) and knocked down a glass, landing on the shards. barefoot. There was a lot of blood, 12 stitches, and crutches for a month.
Or riding the dirt bike into my mom's mail box. twice. That mailbox is a magnet for things on wheels, though, so its not my fault, and I can not be held accountable for every single time it broke (15+)! I know my older sister ran into it with the truck once. And my little sister ran into it with a bicycle. And my friends Rocket and Tank broke a bone or two running into it. I guess we should feel lucky we had this:
And not this:
I told you it was contagious! I have been prone to sh*t like that my whole life. Thankfully, not many life threatening things. My toes hate me, because I am stubbing them at least once a week. I've dislocated a finger or two, and jammed my pinkie (tripped on a training exercise, going downhill, and landed with all my weight on it) so bad it swelled to the size of my thumb was purple where finger meets hand, and I couldn't move it at all for the better part of 3 days. It took 3 weeks to get full motion back with minimal pn.
I fractured my skull, Fall 2010, falling back onto the corner of a desk.....that one really sucked.
My wife is no stranger to hospitals since her battle with leukemia, but her visits have increased slightly since we met. And her level of minor incidents have increase too. My cat (all 7lbs of her) startled Wife, and caused her to give herself a bloody nose. She broke a toe when she was pregnant, because she couldn't see her feet, and hit the cabinet. She hurt her knee when the twins were about 4mo, straining one of the ligaments. It took her a while to recover from that, and during that time she almost (thankfully didn't) fell down the stairs several times, because her knee developed the need to give out on her at "fun" times (needless to say, I brought the kids downstairs in the morning, and they stayed downstairs til I got home). Shes fallen out of bed a time or two, once bruising that knee. She was in a car accident last February, fractured her wrist, and bruised a rib or two. Leave it to Wife to drive a Porsche for 4 years and never get in an accident, but get into one a year and a half into driving the minivan. The poor minivan was totalled. Aside from that, she trips over EVERYTHING! Her forearms usually have a bruise or two from landing on stuff (had to teach her not to extend her hands, so she doesn't break anything)
I wish I could show you my medical records, but they are on their way to Afghanistan. Well, volume III is. I have 3 volumes of my medical records, granted half of one volumes is dealing with my last deployment....and the surgeries and physical therapy, occupational therapy, and head therapy that followed.... but each volume is between 1-2.5in thick.
I'ma copy and paste, then expand.
Some mistakes I just feel bad about..... Like when Boy decided one day he didn't want a nap (and if they aren't tired, we just bring them back out of their beds)....he didn't feel like waiting three seconds, so he tried to climb out, fell, and hit his head.......after the visit to the ER, the ice cream guilt trip (as any parent of a 21mo is "forced" to endure), and the disassembly of the crib, into a daybed/toddler bed, I wanted to scream "we told you not to do that" s he was bawling and snotting about us taking his bed apart. The kid is not a fan of changesBoy ended up with a mild concussion that day. But, for kid who spends as much time in the hospital as Boy, it was a relief that was "all".
His medical records are now as thick, if not thicker than mine. I've never had heart surgery....or bowel surgery.
Boy is very clumsy with his walking. Due to the Cerebral Palsy, he is still working on walking/running, and if he gets distracted mid-stride, that is a bad day.
Boy got excited over the flamingos at the zoo, lost his balance, and fell face first into the metal fence. He busted his lip, and freaked out my wife.
He slipped off his chair at the food court at the mall, and busted his knee open.
He even slipped climbing Mt. couch during my wife's birthday party, and got a black eye.
Boy may be the quiet child, but he has big ambitions: give his mother a heart attack!
See, I was the kid perpetually nicked, bumped, and bruised as a kid. I fractured my wrist getting shoved into the sand box (yes....soft, cushiony sand) in school.
In fact, June 2009, 3 months before my wedding, I got a boxers fracture on my LEFT hand punching a soccer ball. (It was actually the day we found out we were pregnant). My pinkie and much-needed ring finger were casted up. Ignore the year, my camera is retarded....and ignore the purple, it was the only color they had...
two real pictures
So this stuff doesn't bother me. It bothers me to see my kid bleed, but Boy is usually A-okay.
Girl is the "good" child. Shes only gotten hurt once bad enough to get checked out. She cut her hand putting it in places she wasn't supposed to (possibly behind the refrigerator, under the couch, in drawers she cant see into, in the dishwasher, in the trash can....you name it, shes probably stuck her hand in it). She ended up getting two stitches. Even when she falls and hurts herself, she usually just gets up and keeps going.
Sometimes she will even come up, with a smile, and be like "kiss my boo boo" and show us a bloody knee.
Boy is the opposite. If he smushes his finger, you know its coming. You will see the slow boil over of pain, as his face contorts and his eyes water. Similar to this:
Boy doesn't scream, and if he does, something is seriously wrong. No, he will just scrunch his face, and his big blue/grey eyes will glisten like mirrored glass. He might sob a little, too. He will then walk up to you, and hold his booboo up for a kiss. And once you kiss it (YOU BETTER EFFING KISS IT!), he will bury his head into your leg/stomach/shoulder (depending on if you are standing, sitting, or kneeling) and want to be held tight. Extra kisses will now aid in his recovery.
Boy is a sensitive little guy. He cares about everyone's feelings, and will rush to kiss your boo boo in a heart beat. Some people have raised questions about it, thinking he should be like his sister: tough. He is only 2 years old. He and his sister may be twins, but they are complete opposites. And he is perfect just the way he is. We are lucky to have him (we almost lost him in the NICU), and anyone who tries to say my kid needs to buck/man up, can go to hell.
I mean yeah, sometimes I want to just say "Boy, that was very stupid", but he's 2. I'll save that for the teenage years.
For now we will cherish the fact that we can "solve" his problems, and that he still wants to hug us, and that we can kiss him in public. And that cuddling our little boy makes the whole world okay again, for him anyway.