I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
· Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
· I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
· There is great need for a sarcasm font.
· Was learning cursive really necessary?
· Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
· Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
· I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
· Bad decisions make good stories.
· You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
· Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
· I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
· I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
· I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
· I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
· I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option…
· I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
· How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
· I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
· Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.