07 January 2013

Kiddo Update


ife if flying by.  Here are some things I love about these angels...

Boy
-the talking with his hands.  It is hilarious.  He gets SO into his stories.  They start with a monster, then a ghost, then a truck drives by, then Lightening McQueen has to go to the store, then Nana is going to come over for a movie night...with popcorn and candy.  He can go on and on.  Love it!

-"I love you Mommy/Daddy."  He has been so loving before bedtime lately.  "I want three kisses.  And 3 hugs.  I love you.  I LOVE YOU"  He yells it several times while I am walking out the door and down the stairs.

-Boy thinks that crossed eye balls are about the funniest thing in the universe.  All you have to do is get your face right up close to his, close your eyes and then open them after about 2 seconds.  Squeals of laughter.  He loves it!

The twins have SO many dress up clothes that we bit the bullet and converted our (adult sized!) coat closet into a full blown dress up closet.   SWEET!  Let the play time begin!
Boy does have a couple hangers on the side.  Thanks to Grama and Nana for the Woody and Buzz outfits!  Batman and Robin have also held their own against the slew of princess dresses, tutus, jewery boxes, fairy wings, wands, high heels, and purses.  He loves his "secret fort", and can be found "hiding" on the floor of the closet, "reading" a book quite often



Girl
-Miss Dress Up.  She dresses up as Ariel everyday...EVERYDAY!  Dress, pettiskirt, 'heels', purse, crown, head band, necklace (or 5), bracelets, rings.  I was showing her the above picture of herself in the dress and she said, "That's Ariel.  I want to see Ariel again."

-She is an amazing big sister to Ev.  She has been so helpful, getting burp rags, toys, diapers. M wants to hold the baby all the time.  When Ev is crying Girl will run over and say, "It's ok baby."  In the car last week, Ev started crying and Girl said, "Baby, we are going as fast as we can.  It's ok baby".  Love her!

-Little Miss Self-Unincorrigible.  By definition, incorrigible means not able to be corrected, reformed or improved.  Girl likes to do things her own way.  She will do something ~knowingly~ naughty and correct herself almost immediately after.  Or she will answer a question negatively and then say, "But I will".  For example:  Daddy, "It is time for bed."  Girl, "No, I'm not going to bed....but I will."  Easier to handle when we are in a good mood, but adorable just the same.

Birthday Eve (December 26th), we found sweet Sissy asleep at the top of the stairs.
She LOVES that Lovey!
What a silly way to spend her last hours as a 2 year old!






Sweet Baby Everly
-baby loves her playmat.  Everly looks at the pink and yellow sun toy like it is her absolute best friend!  She kids the side bars and bats at the hanging toys.  

-chatty Kathy.  Everly is taking after her brother and sister and loves to talk.  Ooohhh, ooohhh, aaahhh, aaahhh, eeehhh, eeehhh! 

-we just started a schedule and she is rocking the 3 hour daytime feeds.  She eats around 8, 11, 2, 5 and 8.  Then we feed her whenever she needs at night.  So far her best night was 11pm to 6am...BOOYAH baby girl.  For the record, her longest sleep stretch was 9 hours, but the 11pm bedtime was the earliest bedtime long stretch.


Love these kids and trying to enjoy the daily miracles admist the chaos that goes along with it:)

09 November 2012

11 Wonderful Reasons -By Wife


Everly is almost 11 days old! Here are 11 fabulous things we have been doing since this new babe rocked our world.

1.  Cuddling and loving on our big, sleepy girl.
  The kids are so wonderful with her.  Every morning Boy runs in a says, "Look at that cute baby.  I love that baby, Mommy."  




2.  Getting our fill of baby snuggles.  Ev loves to sleep...anywhere at anytime.  The kids like to have her lay in bed with them before nap and bedtime and she is most content snoozing on Mommy or Daddy's chest.  So snuggly!


3. Wearing non-matching comfy clothes.  Our calendar is not as full and we have been spending a lot of time at home...that means sweats for mommy and whatever the kids can put on themselves is what they get to wear.  Girl has worn her purple polka dot pants at least 3 times this week!  We are so proud of Boy, he is finally turning the corner on having any desire/ability to dress himself...such a big boy.  Daddy is the odd man out and actually showers everyday and gets properly dressed...show off;)



4.  Spending a lot of time at the doctor's office. Since Everly was born we have been to the doctor's office 4 times (in 10 days!).  Thank goodness for health insurance!  And, thankfully, I have only had to take all 3 kids once...that was quite the scene since the kids had to get flu shots that day.  Not fun!



5.  Sponge bathing. Ok, not everyone...just the teeniest Munchkin.  Everly's umbilical cord fell off when she was one week old, but it still needs just a bit longer to totally dry up. We can not get it wet yet, so she gets sponge baths until that has healed.  She loves relaxing and getting a nice rub down.  The kids are very helpful getting me towels and wash cloths.  The first time we gave her a bath in the kitchen Girl helped wash her hair and Boy actually video taped the whole thing...he did a great job too!



6.  Spending a lot of time awake in the wee hours of the morn. Little Ev likes to snooze all day and has her most awake period between 2 and 5 am.  It is so sweet to get to spend alone time with her in the morning...the challenge lies in the fact that Boy and Girl have been getting up around 6 due to the time change.   Yikes, that makes for an early morning for mommy and daddy



7.  Napping!  When the kids nap...mommy naps!



8.  Listening to sweet coos and little snortles.  Everly seems to be taking after her big brother in the snoring department.  She has a little snortle when she sleeps.  She also makes sweet little coos and gurgles sometimes.




9.  Watching hopefully for quick smiles and little laughs.  Everly did her first smile when she was 4 days old.  They are fleeting, but oh so cute!  I am dying to catch one on camera soon.  She even did a little laugh at 6 days old.  She only did it twice, but luckliy Mommy saw one and Daddy saw one.



10.  Cherishing the interaction between siblings.  Girl is literally a second Mommy to her little sister.  She helps me with diaper changes, gets Everly dressed (seriously, she watched me gently take Ev's arm out of a onesie and emulated me exactly with the other arm-so cute!), and knows more about nursing and pumping than any other 2 year old on the planet!  She also loves to make up new nick names for Everly.  The other day she called her "my munchkin", "angel pants", "sweetheart" and "biscuit".  And Boy, well he has literally blown my mind with how well he slid into the role of big brother!  He loves this baby and will let everyone know it.  He wants to kiss her and hold her or hold her hand all the time.  He will be playing trains and run over to me while I am holding the baby and say, "I love you baby!", kiss her and run back to the train table.   It is truly amazing!




11. Adjusting to our new normal.  E and I are over the moon to be parents to 3 little Munchkins! On one hand, we can't believe our sweet girl is here and on the other hand, it is already hard to remember life without her.  
We love you Sweet Child!

07 November 2012

Kristmas Kards 4 Kids

Okay, so we will be collecting Names, Addresses, and mini bios for kids for xmas/holiday cards!

Kids are often left out of the Xmas card exchange, and nothing excited me more, as a kid, than getting my very own mail.
Special needs kids are also very often overlooked.  But everyone deserves to be recognized!

We will keep the Name, Address, Bio protected.  No one will have access to the information other than those writing the cards.

Each card will include a card (duh), a letter from us, and a personalized message!

The info we will need for the recipients by NOV 30th:

First and Last Name

Full Address

Small Bio:
Age, Gender, some quick interests (sports, colors, hobbies, etc) for the personalized message.
And anything you'd like us to include/exclude (at our discretion)
Whether religious remarks are appropriate?


You can email me at: ancora.impartial@gmail.com
Message me through my Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/ancora.impartial?ref=hl
Or you can contact my State-side assistant: http://www.facebook.com/parentingwithaspergers?fref=ts
http://parentingwithaspergers.blogspot.com/

DISCLAIMER:
These cards are sent at no cost to you.  We have free APO mailing, and the cards have been provided by generous donors.
Understand that these cards will be sent by US soldiers currently deployed to Afghanistan.  We will NOT write anything political, but in the generic insert, there WILL be a description of our daily lives (working in a clinic, and the light, fun stuff we get to do......nothing serious/gory/inappropriate.

Also, if we get a large volume of requests, we may be forced to limit our number of recipients

03 November 2012

The birth story- by Wife

Short story

I woke up at 1:15 to use the bathroom. At 1:45 I woke up E because I could not get back to sleep and was feeling ‘odd’. I started to feel cramping and at 2:02 decided to document how frequently they came. We left for the hospital at 3:00 ish. We were checked in at 3:15. The nurse checked me and I was dilated to 10 centimeters. My water broke around 3:35. The doctor arrived and I pushed through 4 contractions. Everly Ruth was born at 3:53! 38 minutes from hospital check in to the birth of our perfect daughter.



Long Story

Everly Ruth has the best birth story…ever (ok, so I am a little biased because it is mine)! Late night I was feeling minor cramping in my back. Really, it was super light and I couldn’t tell if it was contractions or just a sore back from having a gigantic belly. I went to bed at 10:30.

I woke up early morning at 1:15 to use the restroom. I laid back in bed and just couldn’t get comfortable. I kept feeling like I had to pee. I got up again, and again, and again. Finally at 1:45 I woke up E and told him I was feeling uncomfortable, I couldn’t really lie down and I kept feeling like I had to pee but never could. Getting up and down was starting to get annoying since moving this big body was becoming more of a challenge each dayJ Then I started to really feel some tight cramping in my lower abdomen. The pains felt just like menstrual cramps and at first were not very painful but continued to increase in severity rapidly with each one. At 2:02 I told E I wanted to start documenting the timing between cramps and see how quickly they were coming. They were every 2-3 minutes, which seemed so close together that I thought for sure something was off. I thought, there is no way I am having real contractions this close this fast…it must be Braxton Hicks or some other weird cramping. The contractions started very low and the pain increased in a line up towards my belly button, with the height of the discomfort just under my belly button (which was sort of nice because I knew when I started to feel it I had a second to prepare for the more painful part). I decided to take a shower just in case we ended up going to the hospital. In the 8 minute shower I had 4 contractions. I got back to the bedroom and told E we definitely had to go to the hospital and asap…he had started to doze off again, so it took a couple minutes to get in the car. We said good bye to the little kids and told Mom that we were off to the hospital. We are so lucky that she and Teenager were visiting this weekend!!! The first 4 minutes of the drive I did not have any contractions and I thought for sure it was a false alarm. I told E I would be so embarrassed if they sent us home from the hospital…then I tried to remember all of my girlfriends who went to the hospital and got turned away and figured it was better to go and check than to stay home. It would be ok either way.

The contractions kicked up again and continued to come hot and heavy every 2 minutes. I am so lucky that my contractions are not terribly painful, they literally felt like really strong period cramps and were so specifically located directly in the center of my stomach from my lower abdomen to just below my belly button. We only hit one red light on the 10 minute drive and I had to tell Teenager to try not to have to stop and start up too fast. I had a contraction trying to get out of the car. I had a contraction in the elevator. I had a contraction in the waiting room…I saw the nurse in the corner of my eye and I couldn’t walk for a minute and made her and E wait til the contraction was over (again, in my head I thought, I hope I am not standing here bent over looking like an over dramatic pregnant mom and they are going to send me home!).

Here is the list of contraction times, I just think this is sort of cool to have it documented.

2:08, 2:10, 2:14, 2:17, 2:19, 2:22, 2:24, 2:27, 2:30, 2:32, 2:35, 2:37, 2:39, 2:41, 2:44

2:47, 2:49, 2:51, 2:53, 2:55

2:58 We had just gotten in the car and the fact that it took 4 minutes to have another contraction made me think that this was not real labor-glad we didn’t turn around!

3:02

3:05

3:07 E was sweet enough to continue to write them down when we got to the hospital

3:09 This one, I was trying to get out of the car

3:11 This one, we were going up the elevator

3:14 This one, the nurse was waiting for us to check into L & D

I checked in at 3:15 and everything below happened in the next 38 minutes.

She checked me in, I went to the restroom and changed into a couture gown (psych, I mean super unflattering hospital gown that I could not tie by myself, and E got a good laugh out of having to help me!) I laid down and the nurse checked me. In my head, I was really hoping to be dilated to a 6, but thought realistically I may be at a 2. I took a long time to dilate with Teenager. She looked shocked and said, “You have a nice bulging bag of water!” I said I had no idea what that meant and asked if I was dilated at all. She said I was dilated to a 10! A 10!

She and the other two nurses could not believe it and then things really started to go quickly. They called to another nurse to call the doctor in now, that made me really feel like things were going fast. They don’t usually call the doctor til the last possible minute or time to push. A nurse ran to E and got all of our paper work done, although I swear, I pre-registered ten weeks ago! A nurse came in to put an iv in my arm, and I was not too thrilled to be getting stuck. She tried and missed, and my vital signs went all wonky. After she pulled out, they normalized again, but i was not having any more of that. I told them that E was the only person i was going to let try again. E did it perfect, and talked me through it (since having my port inserted for chemo, and having the guidewire break off, i have had issues with catheters going into my veins) and kept me grounded. Another nurse started getting the baby station ready. Another nurse brought in all of the delivery stuff-crib, linens, disposable wet mats. My nurse was describing what would probably happen next. There were two options. 1-my water would break and the baby would drop immediately and I would want to start pushing. 2. My water would break and my cervix would sort of close up and I would have to dilate a little bit again. I asked if an epidural was possible and she said no in the first case, maybe in the second case. We didn’t have much time to talk about it because about 4 minutes, 2 contractions later, my water broke (around 3:40am). All hubbub broke loose because there was meconium in it. Two more nursery nurses ran in since there might be complications with the meconium.

The doctor arrived a minute later and I started to have the urge to push. E was great, getting me water and talking to me about getting to meet our baby soon. My doctor said I could start pushing. I pushed 2 to 3 times through 3 contractions. Everly’s heart rate dropped and the doctor called for a vacuum. She told me that the baby needed to come out on the next contraction (maybe she didn’t really say that, but that is the impression that I got). I pushed 4 times on the last contraction and there she was! Her legs were crossed and E and I were so anxious to know if she was a girl or a boy. E said he saw her face first and he knew she was a girl. From my angle all I could see was torso and crossed legs. I was so excited to learn that I had another daughter! She went to the nurses at the baby station to make sure she did not ingest any meconium. She was quiet for a short while (it felt like forever to me), but finally gave a healthy cry. Her apgar at 1 minute was a 5 and went up to a 8 at 4 minutes. I got to hold her first and she is absolutely beautiful!

E was such a phenomenal rock during this entire, rushed process. We barely had time to think and everything just happened at once. We are so thrilled to be home and start our life as a family of 6!

29 October 2012

Sandy Jack-o

Passing the time, with Sandy bearing down, we decided "hey, why not carve pumpkins and try on costumes and eat delicious home-baked goods?"
So that is what we did!
Excuse the jumble, they uploaded wonky, and fixing the order is proving too difficult



Boy was *so* excited to show me his costume, but still got very shy when he came back out!
I asked "are you a goldfish?"
"nooooooo, I'm a shawk!"
"noooo, are you sure you're not a penguin?"
"nooooooo, SHAWK!  Like 'RAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRWWW!!'"
Then got the picture

The kids and their friend eating dinner

Scooping pumpkin guts!



Loving pumpkins!
Our friend and Wife "guiding" the project....
This little guy really enjoyed carving a pumpkin with me :)
My little pumpkin gutter




All dressed up, but still....
My little pumpkin gutter!



















Our friend finding out he doesn't much like guts....




















17 October 2012

Getting help, part 2

Suicide is a choice. Life is a choice.
I have seen people in horrible circumstances, who have pulled through and gotten past the hard times, just as I have seen people who drowned in their situation, unable to break the surface again.
I grew up in less than ideal circumstances, and am a product of the foster care system. I lost my daughter 11yrs ago. I deployed to Iraq at the beginning of the war, and I saw some bad shit, and got wounded. I deployed again, and got shot.
My buddy, whom I deployed with my first time, grew up with an abusive father, and a drunk and hateful mother. He went on to join the Army and deploy. He saw the same shit I saw, during his first deployment. During his second deployment, he got blown up, losing his right leg, above the knee. His wife left him while he was still in the hospital. He got to drinking to drown out the pain and the flashbacks. But he eventually decided to get help.
He is remarried now, with 2 step kids and one of his own. His life isn't always easy, but it is his, because he made a choice.
A soldier I knew came back from a deployment with less rank than when they'd left. They chose to be unfaithful in their marriage, got caught, and had to face the consequences. They were losing their family, and because of their reaction to their punishment, they lost more rank, and were losing their career. They tried to kill their Platoon Sgt, they tried to kill their 1SG, the two people who tried to offer help. This person shot them self in front of barracks full of junior soldiers. They never considered the consequences of a single one of their actions.

People do stupid shit all the time. Bad things happen to people all the time. It is our job to respond the best we can to our circumstances. There are resources out there, but our society is so fucking trained against asking for help, that we just spend time glorifying those who were too weak to do so! Because, yes, after fighting your demons for long enough, anyone would grow tired and weak. And then, they may choose to take the "easy way out".
Because it means they don't have to fight anymore!
And if they don't succeed, maybe someone else will notice their struggle, and that person will pick up arms with them, and help tame their demons.

There is such a bull shit stigma on asking for help. But what is worse: the shame of everyone finding out you swallowed a bunch of pills to end your own life, or the shame of everyone finding out you are seeing a doctor to try to be a better person?

I'm seeing a doctor, to help me with my issues. And, yes, I may have been reluctant to do so, but that was I.....
....I don't even really know why.
I was hoping the other meds would work?
I was too busy to make time?
I was trying to pretend I wasn't having problems?
I was afraid of what others would think?

Okay, that last one did play a role, but only a small one....
I've had enough issues over the years to know when I need help, but I hesitated (not for long) because I am with new people, who don't know my history.
They have accepted that I am "broken".
We are all "broken" in some way!
Some of us fit back together better than others, but if you work hard enough, and find all the pieces, you *can* be whole again! And if there is not enough of the old you left, change from seeing yourself as a jug to seeing yourself as a bowl.... Both can still hold substance!