03 March 2013

The reality of AI

So, I get a lot of comments about how great my family is, and how awesome my wife is, and I couldn't agree more.
I have gotten a few PMs about this, about how I portray my family, and how we seem to have the "perfect" life going.
Im not one to point out flaws. I may do a quick rant on some BS that day, but Im not one to air my personal dirty laundry.
Firstly, Im a guy, and talking in a bad light about your girlfriend/wife, heck, even your mother, is not something any guy should do in a public forum.
Im also mindful of the fact that my wife and friends read this page, and therefore I do not feel it is always appropriate to share some of the things happening in our lives.
Im all for embarrassing your kids, but I am mindful that they are growing up, and don't need every detail of their lives and faux pas broadcast on the internet.
Im sure no kid wants the fact that they peed their pants at the grocery store to be broadcast, just like no parent needs the judgement of "how the hell'd you let that happen?"
Teenager wouldn't want her issues with dating and school, broadcast either.
And i find it very inappropriate to seek approval online, for an argument with your spouse. Yes, I share the funny stuff, and the petty stuff, because thats okay to do.
I share about our schedule, and the activities we are involved in.

A shining example of a situation I have mentioned, but not gone in depth about, would be my sister's wedding.
Some of you got the impression I didn't like my soon-to-be-BIL, or that I didn't approve of the marriage. That is not the case, at all.
My sister is almost a decade younger than me. She really is my "baby" sister.
Its hard to believe shes old enough to date, let alone get engaged or married!
Its one thing that we were both in Iraq together in 2009. Its another thing to think that she'll soon be married, and sometime in the next few years I could become an uncle again! :O
She is my blood relative. The closest blood relative I have, relationship-wise. And her relationship with me and my family has caused a gap in her relationship with our birth mother and her siblings.
Shes dealt with some BS from all that, that was not deserved. She is an amazing person, and she only deserves the best.
Having met her fiancé, I feel better, but its still scary to think of her starting this new chapter.
Its the worries of a Big Brother, thats all.
Its the same type of worries Ill have when Teenager brings home her first serious boyfriend. And when Boy, Girl, and Lil E start going out in the world, and doing things on their own.

So, we are not perfect. We have arguments often, and we don't always agree on things.
Yes, my career is a top reason for our disagreements, but we knew it'd be a while before I got out again. And we are compromising. We are moving back home, so that we will have our house and our family with us, and even though Im not looking forward to the new job (its a good job, will just most likely be a lot of desk work...) we will all be together, in our own home, and the kids can go to a great school, while she gets back to the work she loves, etc.
And because of the assignment Im taking, chances of me deploying again are slim. Personally, it sucks, as I enjoy deploying, but I *will* get to be there for my kids, and that is more important. You can deploy a hundred times, but your kids only have one childhood each.

It doesn't make me a saint, it makes me a realist.
I have mental health issues that aren't all resolved with therapy and meds.
But I have a patient wife, patient mom, and some great kids, who don't hold it against me.


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